Your Guide to Raising Your HalfVampire Kid
by House-of-Blood
Summary: Otis's world is turned upside down when he agrees to raise his half-vampire nephew, Vlad. But these crazy misadventures just might be what he needs because after all, toddlers are just like dogs. They show nothing but unconditional love.


Rule 23:_ Never wake up your half-vampire kid before 9, or face the wrath of sleepiness. _

At a quarter to 8, Otis stepped into Vlad's bedroom, not cautious at all of the sleeping three year old. He flipped on the light switch, completely lacking mercy, "Time to get up, Vlad. We've got a pretty big day ahead of us."

Vlad rolled onto his stomach, clutching Stripes tightly to his chest, "Noo… M'tired, Uncle Otis."

"Well that just sucks, doesn't it Vlad? Come on now, get up." Otis walked over to his nephew and tugged the blanket off of his tiny body.

Vlad shivered and whined loudly, sitting up to rub his eyes, "I seepin', Uncle Otis…"

"Not anymore."

"Yeah."

"No." Otis gave the toddler a hard glare, hooking his hands under the armpits of his nephew, "It's time to wake up."

"Noo!" Vlad wiggled and squirmed until Otis sat him back onto the bed, where he proceeded to curl back into a human/vampire pretzel. "I seep."

"You've already slept. You've gotta go to school while I run some errands." Otis picked up the little boy and positioned him on his hip. Vlad let his head fall against his uncle's shoulder while Stripes dangled from a limp arm.

"No 'rands, Uncle Otis. We seep now."

"You can sleep at school, during naptime. Now get dressed." Otis set Vlad down in the middle of the rug and tugged off the little boy's dinosaur footie pajamas, leaving him only in a pull-up diaper. He stepped into the closet and pulled out jeans and a tee shirt, "Anything special you want to wea… Vlad?" He turned around to see his nephew sound asleep on the floor, using Stripes as a makeshift pillow. His mouth was wide open and limbs were splayed everywhere.

"Screw this…" Otis muttered. He dropped the clothes onto the floor, picked up the nearly naked toddler, and carried him down stairs and out front. Balancing Vlad on his hip, Otis opened the car door and set his sleeping nephew into his car seat.

When they arrived at the pre-school, Otis stuffed Stripes into his pocket and picked Vlad up again. He made his way to Vlad's classroom and smiled at the teacher, "Morning."

The teacher's eyes widened at the practically nude boy and she chuckled a bit nervously, "Um… good morning, Mr. Otis. Might I ask where Vladimir's clothes are?"

"Sitting on his floor, at home. He didn't want to get dressed today, so he gets to attend school naked. Have fun with him." He handed her his nephew and fished Stripes out of his pocket, setting the toy into her hand, "Good luck."

With that, he walked back to his car and left to run his errands.

Rule 24:_ Never lose your half-vampire kid at a crowded mall. Ever._

"No, _no _Vlad. Hold my hand."

"Nooooo, Uncle Otis! Look, look at da tigers. _LOOK AT DEM!"_

"Vlad, we can look at the tigers after we finish getting everything on Nelly's shopping list."

Otis moaned to himself and picked up the toddler, carrying him on his hip. "Damn, you're getting heavy…"

Vlad's eyes watered and he reached over his Uncle's shoulder, towards the fundraising display at the pet store. _Adopt a Bengal Tiger today!_

"Uncle Otis, wanna see da tigers…" Tears ran down the little boy's cheeks as his temper tantrum boiled, getting ready to explode. A sob left his lips and he cried, pushing himself away from his uncle's chest, "Wanna see dem now!"

"Later, Vladimir," Otis sighed. "I promise."

"Do you think she cares about what kind of milk we get? What does she drink anyway, 2 percent?" Otis looked over his shoulder, to where his nephew had been sitting the last the time he looked. "Vlad?"

He fully turned around and saw that the little boy was nowhere to be seen. Dropping the milk back onto the shelf, Otis abandoned his shopping cart and frantically skirted throughout different aisles. "Don't be kidnapped, don't be kidnapped, don't be kidnapped."

After asking several old ladies and a few cashiers if they had seen a crying, pale, black haired boy holding a tiger, Otis was on the verge of tears. "Tomas is going to kill me. Oh God, _Nelly_ is going to kill me!"

He stepped out of the grocery store, jogged past clothing stores and shoe stores alike. After half an hour, he heard what sounded like heavenly angles singing.

"And den, after I spill da milk on floor, Uncle Otis_ slipped_! An' his face go red like dis."

Otis quickly rounded the corner and sure enough, there was Vlad, reenacting that morning's breakfast scene for a bunch of pretty young ladies. They laughed and giggled as he squeezed his cheeks between his hands and made an angry face, pretending to be his clutzy Uncle.

"Oh my God, _Vlad_."

The toddler looked over and his eyes widened, "Uh oh. Sowwy, ladies, but you gotta go! Ima be in big twoubles if he hears me talkin' 'bout dis mornin'." Vlad shooed the women away and they walked past a blushing Otis, covering smirks with dainty hands and whispering among themselves.

Otis ignored them and bent down in front of his nephew, giving the kid a dirty look, "Vladimir Tod, why the hell did you leave the store we were in?"

Vlad pointed to the tiger display and pouted, "Hadda see da tigers."

"You should have waited." Otis's tone was softer and he reached up to brush the boy's bangs from his eyes. His heart was still beating out of control but relief had flooded his system when he heard Vlad's voice. His heart would have been broken if Vlad had been lost. And so would his body, if Nelly ever found out. "Don't ever do anything like that again, you understand?"

"Yeah."

"Are you sure?"

"_Yeah._"

"Okay." Otis smiled lightly and picked up the little boy, "I don't think that we'll be taking you back here for a while, young man."

"But den when we gonna see tigers?" Vlad cried. He wined and bounced himself in Otis's grasp.

Otis shrugged, "Maybe we'll take you to the zoo or something. But for right now, Stripes should be enough."

Vlad pouted and draped his arms around his uncle's neck, allowing himself to be carried to the car. While Otis buckled himself in, he thought about ways to keep Vlad quiet about the day's events for when they saw Nelly later that night. Because Lord knows, if that woman found out Otis had lost Vlad in the mall, all relationship chances with her were finished.

**Hey you guys! Sam here, aka House of Blood. I kind of figured that you guys are sitting at your computers going, "Whaaaa-?" **

**To answer any questions: yes, I did take over this story from Pandaswithbazookas. I'm so sorry that it's taken me awhile to update this and everything, but I've got several fics up and running for other sites and this was put into a long line. But! I do plan on updating every Saturday and every Tuesday (today doesn't count!) so watch out for those! **

**I hope that you enjoy this story just as much as the original. Tell me whatever you like and don't like, if I need to fix anything, or just… review. Lmao! I want your opinions! **

**Soo enjoy this and look forward to more chapters soon! (I'm not going to post this Saturday, but I will on Tuesday. Just a warning.)**


End file.
